The Good, the Bad and the Sneaky

What is it about some bad guys that makes us like them? Take for example, Agent Smith. I mean, all right, he's an evil computer program who doesn't play by the rules, and becomes "The about Nine Million" to annihilate "The One" Neo. But everything about him is so utterly cool that if I were given the chance to play a role in the Matrix movies, I would pick the Desert Eagle-wielding Smith. I don't particularly fancy wearing suits, but Smith proved that you could wear a suit and still be a veritable goddamn freezer. The way he pauses while speaking as if searching for the exact right words to use and says things like "Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet. You are a plague, and we... are the cure" make me wish he'd stick his hand inside me and convert me into another Smith. I'm sure you're familiar of the saying "If you can't be as cool as them, you might as well join them". Bring on the shades, but lose the earpiece. For now, I am a free man, so to speak...
Another breed of immensely cool bad guys are of course, Daniel Ocean and Co. They're so likable that it's actually quite difficult to use the term "bad guys" with them. They can be called "Bad guys" only by the virtue of the fact that they steal and stealing is a crime. But, man, I love them so much that I went so far as to start copying Rusty Ryan after noticing that he wears his wrist watch on his right hand [The fact that Brad Pitt could be left-handed did cross my mind, but what the hell...]
I can quote many other bad guys like Memphis Raines [Nicholas Cage] from "Gone in 60 Seconds", Vic Deakins [John Travolta] from Broken Arrow and Charlie Croker and his crew from "The Italian Job" all of whom ensured permanent membership of the Cool Club by pulling off heists in inimitable style and panache. They all made the occupation of Thievery fashionable and glamorous. But of late, some idiots have been tarnishing the image of the above-mentioned geniuses by pulling off heists of their own. I am talking about the jackasses who were responsible for leaking the Harry Potter books 5 & 6 and ruining the ending for me. What sort of an achievement is that?
Reading a Harry Potter book for the first time not knowing what to expect is THE best feeling in the world. As you progress into the plot, you try to spot extremely well disguised clues and try to guess what’s going to happen next. Rowling has this habit of giving vague hints about what’s going to happen next and this makes the whole experience of reading that much more enjoyable.
To quote one of such hints, in book 5 when Harry wants to talk to Sirius about James and plans to use Umbridge’s fireplace, Hermione turns to Ron and demands his opinion on the matter. And then, Rowling says that Harry is irresistibly reminded of Mrs. Weasley demanding Mr. Weasley back in Grimmauld Place before term started. And what happens in book 6?
There are more of such hints, which haven’t been “fulfilled” yet. They could be real clues or could be nothing at all. For instance, in the Dept of Mysteries, when Harry and Hermione first see the mysterious Veil, he’s “strangely attracted by it and feels a strong desire to walk through it to the other side”. Does this mean Harry is going to suffer the same fate as Sirius?
And very recently, my cousin discovered that Rowling has borrowed several crucial character names [such as Cornelius, Trelawney, Fortescue, Black, James, Ronald and Peter] from Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes stories. She even borrowed the author’s name and called Ron’s father “Arthur”. Does it mean Arthur Weasley will have an important role to play in book 7?

You know, I am actually sad that the 7th book is going to be released in less than 12 hours. I wish I had more time to form more theories of my own about what is going to happen in the 7th book. But since Harry and co. smashed all the Time Turners by the end of Book 5, there’s no time for detective work anymore for anyone. All we can do is wait with bated breath for the moment when we’ll get to lay our hands on the book, lock ourselves up in the room and dive in.

But no… Some people don’t want us to wait for the book, they want to do us a favor by telling us what is going to happen. So they went ahead and by an unbelievably freakish streak of luck, managed to somehow get around the 10 million pound security net and leaked some parts of Book 7 into the Internet.

I cannot begin to express my disgust and contempt for the people behind this. I expect they’re all sitting in a dodgy pub somewhere and having a laugh about their “heist” over a round of booze. I did not want to use abusive language on my blog but I am extremely pissed off at these assholes. Here’s my message to these people:
Who do you think you are? Ocean’s 11? Get real, you’re nothing but a bunch of sneaky fucking pricks. Do you hear me? YOU’RE JUST A BUNCH OF SNEAKY FUCKING PRICKS! When they catch your sorry asses, I hope you’ll be drowned in a cauldron full of undiluted Bubotuber Pus, ripped to tiny smouldering shreds by Blast-ended Skrewts and fed to Flobberworms.

I am going to stop shouting now and go to bed. I have to wake up by 5 tomorrow and catch a bus to Bangalore to get my copy of the Book 7. Judgment Day is upon us. And I wish good luck to Harry, Ron, Hermione, Hagrid, Lupin Ginny, Neville and Luna.